Patawa daw...

[M a L L o w S]

a sad love story...
gf: huhuhuhu!
bf: huhuhuhuh!
gf: huhuhuhu!
bf: huhuhuhuh!
gf: huhuhuhu!
bf: huhuhuhuh!

aawww.. how sad

-----------------------

Pedro: Pare pinapili ako ng misis ko, pag-ibig daw o kaibigan?
Juan: So kaya ka andito nagyon dahil pinili mo kaibigan?
Pedro: Hindi pare, Pag-ibig pinili ko

-----------------------

May isang bus na pinasok ng isang rapist

RAPIST: Nandito ako para mang-rape! Kung ilan ang ngipin niyo, ganun karaming beses ko kayo rereypin!

DALAGA: Naku po, pakawalan niyo na ang lola ko. Wala na siyang ngipin.

LOLA: Gaga! May isa pa!
-----------------------

Isang hatinggabi, si Sadako ay sumakay ng jeep patungong Balete at dun siya...

dun siya wish you girlfriend was hot like me
dun siya
dun siya baby
dun siya!
-----------------------

(in a cabinet meeting ...)

GMA: oshige ... kung sino man ang tamaan ng bola na 'to ay siyang magre-resign

(initsa ang bola, tumalbog pabalik sa kanya ...)

GMA: o ... praktis lang un noh? ulet!

-----------------------

A prince was cursed by a witch that he could speak only 1 word/year. But if he doesn't he could save the words for the next year. 1 day he saw a pretty princess and fell in luv, he waited for 10 years to say

"darling i love you, i would like to marry you"

guess what the princess replied....




"PARDON??"
-----------------------

ice cream ba
tlaga ung
iniendorz ni
pacquiao sa
komrxal nya
na nestle
ice cream?
kala ko kc
softdrinks eh?
kc sbi nya..





"oh mga bata..
MIRINDA na.."

----------------------

hindi makapagtimpla ng juice si inday.


dahil nkasulat:







concentrate.
----------------------

nakatakas si Erap, FVR at GMA sa mga terorista at nagtago sa mga sako sa farm.

Terorist1: Ano nakita mo dyan?
Terorist2: Mga sako lang. Tingnan mo kung me laman!

Sinipa ng terorista ang sako. "Meow!" sabi ni GMA.

Terorist2: PUSA!

Sinipa ang isa pang sako. "Aw! Aw!" sabi ni FVR.

Terorist2: ASO!

Sinipa ang 1 pang sako pero walang tunog kaya sinipa nya ito ng sinipa. Nasasaktan na si Erap kaya sabi nito, "PATATAS AKO kaya wala akong sound. Mga *****!" ;D ;D ;D

[vahn]

mukang walang kwenta,.,.,,

[vahn]

musmos pa rin!??!
dun ako sa kabila.,.,.,

[M a L L o w S]

oo musmos ka parin at patuloy ka parin n magi2ng musmos.. wahahahaha

[koksee]

yatap-motug.. PATAY GUTOM..?

;c

[M a L L o w S]

shoe shiner na... wahahaha

[« jHay »]

Stages of Drunkeness
0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet.

1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.

2 - Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.

3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.

4 - Barmaid complimented on choice of bra. Partially visible when bending to get packets of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of pretzles one by one.

5 - Have brilliant discussion with guy on the next bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for wining lottery, sort out Denver Broncos defense problems.

6 - Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cocktail napkin. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them you love them. Call girlfriend to tell her you love her and she still has an amazing ass.

7 - Send drinks over to woman sitting at table with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of love on five cocktail napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks you outside. You buy him a Slim Panatela.

8 - Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one by one. Fall over. Get up.

9 - Head-ache kicks in. Michelob tastes off. Send it back. Next bottle comes back tasting same. Say, "That's much better". Fight nausea by trying to play old Space Invaders game for ten minutes before seeing out of order sign.

10 - Some doubling of vision. Stand on table shouting abuse at all four bartenders. Talked down by bartender's wives, who you offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.

11 - Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize you are sitting in pub cellar, having taken a wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.

12 - Put in cab by somebody. Give home address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've given address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.

[« jHay »]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Avocado!
Avocado who?
Avocado a cold!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Axel!
Axel who?
Axeldental Tourist!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Atch!
Atch who?
I'm sorry I didn't know you had a cold!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Athena!
Athena who?
Athena flying saucer!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Argo!
Argo who?
Argo down the shops!