Pinoy JOKES!

[tOOtz]

Mom: baby, your good in math. Now I'm going to ask
> you a question.
> Baby: sure mom
> Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you
> 4 apples, what's your answer?
> Baby: thank you po!!! ;D


Pare1: pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
> Pare2: nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants
> ng Ms. Universe
> Pare1: swerte mo! ano problema mo?
> Pare2: pare ako nanalo!

(ay bading!)



Killer: father mangungumpisal po ako
> Father: ano kasalanan mo?
> Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 tao
> Father: bakit?
> Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos, kayo po
> naniniwala ba?
> Father: dati...pero ngayon trip trip na lang

*deny bigla oh!!


Patient: doc takot po ako sa bunot
> Dentist: eto gamot pampatapang ng loob
> Patient: (ininom ang gamot)
> Dentist: ano matapang ka na ba?
> Patient: oo doc! pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko
> basag ang bungo!


Passenger taps taxi driver's shoulder...
>
> WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! screamed the driver...
>
> Passenger: bakit ka sumigaw?
> Driver: sorry bossing bago lang kasi ako sa taxi. 25
> years po kasi ako driver ng funenaria


1 panget na babe, hinoholdap
>
> Holdaper: holdap ito! akin na gamit mo!
> Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
> Holdaper: anong rape? holdap nga to eh!
> Babae: wala lang! nagsusuggest lang...


1 lasing nasalubong ang matabang babae na may
> kasamang aso
>
> Lasing: hoy, saan mo nakuha yang baboy?
> Babae: aso ito hindi baboy!
> Lasing: huwag ka nga sumabat! yung aso ang kausap
> ko!


In a pet shop...
>
> Customer talking to a parrot...
>
> Customer: hoy! can you talk ha?! bobo!!!
> Parrot: yes i can!!! ikaw?! can you fly ha? GAGO!!!
>


Bobo: pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula sa letter
> A
> Pare: approachable?
> Bobo: mali
> Pare: amiable?
> Bobo: mali pa rin
> Pare: o sige siret na!
> Bobo: ANEST wehehe!!!


Girl: doc, pacheck-up po
> Doc: sige hubad ka ng panty at bra tapos higa ka
> Girl: hindi po ako, itong lola ko po
> Doc: sige lola, hinga na lang po ng malalim


Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi
> magsasaka na...ano ang balak mo itanim sa sakahan mo
> anak?
> Anak: flowers papa!!! madaming madaming flowers!
> pretty diba?!



;D

[caasi]

That's nice. I love those things way back when I was a child. I love to read those things in song books 'coz they we have some song books. I really love those things! Nice!

[« j Ö h n »]

[tOOtz]

ahaha..

[††acinorev††]

may dalawang mag-asawa ang nag se-sex.....habang sa kalagitnaan ng kanilang pag se-sex natigil si babae at nagtanung........
MISIS:Hon,nalimutan mo ung ilaw pakipatay nman oh...........(pabulongna sinabi)
MISTER: ok.........un lang pla eh......
MISIS:Hon,nalimutan mo ung electric fan nka on pa pki patay nman......(medyo galet ksi nahihinto sila eh)
MISTER:sori hah nalimtan ko ksi eh cge w8 lng ha off ko lang.......
MISIS:Hon,nalimutan mo ung binatan naka bukas pa(nagtitimpi sa galet)
MISTER:w8 lang ha i checheck ko na lahat,sori din ksi dami ko ng nalilimutan eh......
MISIS:Hon may nalimutan ka.....
MISTER:ano n nman un
MISIS:ung titi mo hon nwawala
MISTER:hay sus nalimutan ko hiniram pla ni aling susan
magpapasarap daw sya muna.....isosoli n lng daw nya mamaya......
tawa ka para masaya........

[††acinorev††]

-green jokes-
haha.

[« j Ö h n »]

hayeeeeeeeeep........

[††acinorev††]

I'ts Dark in Here

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.

Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.



Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.


The boy now has company.


Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."


In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover

are in the closet together.


Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."


A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball." The boy says, "I can't.

I sold them."


The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "$1,000."


The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.

That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to

church and make you confess."



They go to church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the little
boy


Sit in the confession booth and closes the door.


The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that s**t again"